Things I Fear: Sixth

[mancalledtrue]

Another in the list of what gets under my skin.

SIXTH: BRAIN DAMAGE

One of my oldest and most pervasive fears is the loss of my intelligence.  As I have little self-esteem, I don't consider myself to have many virtues.  One of the few I'm willing to admit to is knowledge and general intelligence.

Thus, the idea I may suddenly, permanently lose some or all of it due to the destruction of my brain matter haunts me.

Ever since I first read about lobotomies, I've had recurring panic visions of being subjected to one.  I once had a series of nightmares wherein a team of surgeons would come upon me as I slept and operate on my brain.  The dreams have long since ended, but I've never forgotten them.