Legacy of the Duelist: Chapter Eleven
Dec. 4th, 2011 06:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mancalledtrueWell, no Jade this time... but instead we get possibly the worst use of one of the game's signature cards ever. Bad trade off? We'll see.
The title is “A Short Rest”. True enough, this chapter is only eight pages in Word.
The friends walked down a pathway about an hour, through sparse woodland, keeping their eyes open for the large stump that Jade had mentioned.
They followed the trail of corpses.
"How are we supposed to find one stump around here?" said Peter. "There could be a hundred of them."
You have to admit that if trying to hide something in a forest, hiding it in a tree stump isn't a bad idea.
"It's getting dark," said Clive. "And now's the time when it should be."
"All the more reason to find that place," said Yugi. "Maybe we could get a snack before having
to turn in."
Yugi Motoh Jr: Kindergarten Teacher.
"Yo, people!" said Mary. "Target sighted!"
Bad attempt to sound like your dad out of nowhere, Mary.
They looked to where she was pointing, and saw a VERY large stump, one that seemed to be the remains of a huge tree. Like Jade had said, it had a heart (but no letters) carved on it.
Clive pulled out the Kokiri Bow.
Yugi went up to it and knocked on it. "Hollow," he said. "Look for some sort of catch on or something…"
These people couldn't catch on with a grappling hook.
Mary's eyes fell on a large knothole on one side. "You don't suppose…" she said. She pushed on the knothole and sure enough, it was a button, the top of the stump opened, revealing a ladder down.
Commas aren't that hard to use, Brian...
"C'mon guys," said Yugi. "It doesn't go very far down…"
“Just far enough you'll break your legs on impact!”
They climbed down the ladder, and ended up in a lighted hallway. The walls were painted with mosaics of various Monsters, a dueling station was set up in the center, and several small tables and chairs (one of which was occupied) were set up around the place. A small bakery of sorts was set up at one end, manned by a fat, jovial man in an apron.
The apron was covered in blood, but that was the only detracting quality.
"May I help you guys?" he said with a grin.
Well, might as well see if it works, thought Yugi.
"Yes," said Yugi. "Do you have fresh pumpkin spice muffins for sale?"
Derpy Hooves then kicked him out of the way.
The clerk raised his eyebrow. "Ah, yes indeed…"
He went for his fly.
He pressed a button, and a wall panel next to the counter slid open. In it was a glass display, with five Duel Monster cards placed within.
Well, that's a shit selection!
"The cost is forty Star Coins each," he said.
"Hmmm," thought Yugi, looking at them. "I think we can only afford one right now."
And that's a shit price! This tournament's got all the balance of a low-grade Mortal Kombat knock-off!
"You can have it," said Mary. "I already got a good new one."
He looked at them. Two were terrain-altering cards, the Forest and Sogen Spell Cards. Not much use there. The third was the Tears of the Mermaid Trap Card – interesting, but not essential.
There was one Monster Card, the Giant Soldier of Stone (which he already had).
I wonder if his dismissal of Tears of the Mermaid is some sort of jab at Pegasus.
But the last card was of interest – the Fissure Spell Card.
"Those hags used that card in our match," said Yugi. He turned to the clerk. "It destroys the opposing Monster with the lowest Attack Score, right?"
"That's right," said the clerk.
This may be the first time Brian's actually gotten a card right. And that's only because EVERYONE had this card back then; it was in all the starter decks.
"Okay, I'll take that one," said Yugi. "We'll also have a dozen assorted muffins, and this should cover it." He showed the Card of Plenty to him.
"Geeze," said the clerk, as Yugi counted out forty coins. "Who'd you have to kill to get that?"
"Long story," said Yugi.
“Short version, EVERYONE.”
As the clerk gave him the card, followed by the muffins, the occupant of the table (who had been watching him the whole time) came up to them. He was a sixteen-year-old teenager, dressed in a blue coat. He had long brown hair, tied back in a long ponytail. As Yugi turned towards him, he noticed that he wore a lapel pin made of silver, shaped like a dragon with tiny sapphires for eyes. He wore a wristband with five Duel Jewels in it.
Three guesses which canon character he's related to.
"Hello Yugi," he said.
“Is it me you're looking for?”
"Do I know you?" asked Yugi.
"Yes, we've just not had the opportunity to actually meet yet," said the youth.
“I drive by your house at night.”
"Pardon?"
Yugi is slow on the uptake yet again.
"I'll give you a hint," said the youth. He took out a pack of cards and looked through it until he found a particular card. "Does this card look familiar?"
The card bore the image of a silver, glowing, winged dragon.
I haven't watched the show in years, but I don't recall the BEWD being foil.
"The Blue-Eyes White Dragon!" exclaimed Mary.
Yugi was stunned. "There are only three of those cards in the world, last time I checked," he said. "And all of them belong to my father's old rival Seto Kaiba…"
"Yes," said the youth, putting them back. "And they're mine now. He gave them to me after he quit Duel Monsters. Seto is my uncle. My name is Siegfried Kaiba."
Nope. Not buying it. Mokuba Kaiba would not give his son a German first name. This is even stupider now that we have the KC Grand Prix, with the knowledge that Seto's alleged nephew shares a name with a major business rival of Kaibacorp!
"Really?" said Yugi. His features turned to a slight smile. "So how's old Seto doing now?"
"Retired to an island in the Caribbean," said Siegfried. "One of those places where the weather is nice, the food is great, and the hassles are nonexistent."
He's lying, but we won't find out for a couple stories yet. Not that it's a surprise, since Seto Kaiba is one of those people who wouldn't retire unless you shot him.
"So, I assume Anastasia invited you here," said Yugi. "I have to wonder why you accepted. Her father caused your uncle a world of trouble."
"Actually," said Siegfried, "my uncle practically insisted that I accept her invitation. He wanted me to find out if she was up to something."
I can accept Seto Kaiba being suspicious of Anastasia far more easily than I can Yugi Sr. being such. Seto Kaiba never forgives.
He paused. "I was about to ask you the same thing… and word is spreading fast around the Labyrinth about the great Yugi Muto's son. I'm glad we had a chance to meet."
"Funny," said Yugi, "the main reason I'm here is to keep an eye on Anne too."
“Are you as needlessly paranoid as I am?”
The two of them looked at each other for a long time, as if they were reading each other's
thoughts.
Mary broke the tension by shouting, “KISS ALREADY!”
"Why don't you just say it," said Yugi. "I know you want to…"
“I have a condom in my wallet!”
Siegfried held up his deck. "How about it Yugi?" he said. "You and me… for old time's sake. We don't even have to wager anything."
"Really?" said Yugi. "How can I say no?"
Like this: “Iie.”
SCENE CHANGE:
"I dunno," said Clive, as Yugi and Siegfried took their positions at the dueling station. "Why do I feel that what they really want to do is prove who is better?"
Because that's usually the point of duels?
"Well," said Mary, "if this guy is any bit as good as his uncle – and is using the same deck – he may have the potential to beat Yugi."
"How so?" said Peter.
Fanfic authors who masturbate to Yugi tend to give Kaiba the only credit non-Yugi duelists ever receive.
"If I recall correctly," said Mary. "The Blue-Eyes White Dragon is one of the most powerful Monsters in the game, with an Attack of 3,000 and a Defense of 2,500. That deck of his has THREE of them in it. And if he can get all three of them on the board at one time, he can transform them into the Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon, which is the game's single strongest Monster. It's practically indestructible.
Nice praise, but as we'll see, just because a card is canonically good doesn't mean it gets any special attention.
"And there's no telling just what this guy has added to his deck – it might be even more
formidable than Seto's original one. He does have five Jewels there…"
"Well, we'll see in a minute," said Clive. "Can Yugi's Shield of St. George Trap destroy a Blue-Eyes Ultimate?"
"I don't see why not," said Mary. "But first he'd have to draw it…"
Part of the reason all these “magic bullet” cards are so damn silly.
"Make sure that deck is well–shuffled," said Yugi. He waved his hand over his Puzzle, and again the change overtook him.
"I'm shuffling," said Siegfried.
Cue the Discord Dance.
He looked at Yugi. "Huh. My uncle told me about how your dad could do that. Just how does it feel, anyway?"
“And why are your pants bulging?”
"Hard to explain," said Yugi. "It's something you have to experience."
The station flashed to life, and the numbers 2,000 appeared on each side. They each drew.
"I must warn you Yugi," said Siegfried. "I have a perfect record at this game."
"So do I," said Yugi. "So it seems one of our records is going to be flawed, right now…"
SPOILER: Brian refuses to let Yugi lose at any point in this series. Sorry to burst your bubbles.
"DUEL!" they both said.
The echo effect temporarily deafened everyone present.
"Guess I'll go first," said Yugi. "I play the Dark Magician Girl, in Attack Mode!" He put down the card, and the young sorceress appeared. (2,000/1,700)
"And I'll lay a card facedown too," said Yugi, "which will end my move."
"I'll lay a card facedown too," said Siegfried, "and then I'll play the Red Archery Girl, also in Attack Mode." He put down the cards, and the mermaid in her shell appeared, brandishing her bow. (1,400/1,500)
"Looks like we have a catfight on out hands," said Siegfried. "Your move."
Someone get out the baby oil.
"I don't know if you're bluffing or not," said Yugi. "But I'm not taking any chances. I'm playing the Harpie's Feather Duster!" He put the Spell Card down, it swept across the grid, and the light around Siegfried's facedown card went out.
A repairman climbed out of the duel platform and waved sheepishly.
"My Mirror Wall!" said Siegfried. He looked at Yugi. "Aw crud…"
"Thought so," said Yugi. "Dark Magician Girl, turn that mermaid into fish sticks!"
Mrs. Paul's secret exposed!
The Dark Magician Girl twirled her baton and fired! The Red Archery Girl screamed and was vaporized. Siegfried's Life Points fell to 1,400.
Peter started crying.
"Your move," said Yugi.
Then he thought. He had a Mirror Wall Trap? That's a powerful card. If I hadn't drawn that Feather Duster, it might have been all over.
EVERYONE has that card in this story! Stop acting like it's impressive!
Siegfried drew. "Aha!" he said. "Peter, you might want to get a picture of this! Here comes Blue-Eyes White Dragon number one! In Attack Mode."
He put down the card, and the ferocious silver-white dragon appeared! (3,000/2,500)
The Blue-Eyes White Dragon is second only to the God Cards in terms of reverence in the anime. Its summoning is treated with much fanfare whenever it comes out, and it is considered one of the most powerful creatures in the game. Even now, it remains one of the most powerful normal monsters in the real game.
And this is how Brian treats it. With a single line. No build-up, no fanfare, no indication that this is anything but another piece of grist for the mill, another target to be set up and knocked down.
In terms of treatment of its canon alone, this is a terrible, terrible story.
"So that's what it looks like," said Clive. "I have to say, I'm impressed."
I'm not. And that is seriously wrong.
"Now, Blue-Eyes, white lightning attack!" commanded Siegfried. The Monster shot forth its lightning breath, the Dark Magician Girl covered her eyes…
But the bolt stopped a foot from her!
"Good thing I had a Negate Attack in place," said Yugi, holding up his facedown.
This is a twenty-eight-chapter story and I'm already sick of this.
"Well, your next move best be something big," said Siegfried. "Make your move."
Yugi jumped across the field and kicked him in the throat.
Yugi drew and looked at his cards. Hmm, he thought. Dad told me about the time he dueled with the spirit of Seto's evil side… maybe that trick he told me about in that duel will help destroy
this thing.
So he began shouting insults.
"I play Magical Hats!" said Yugi. "Protect and conceal the Dark Magician Girl!" He placed down the card, and a hat covered the Dark Magician Girl. It turned into a blur, and three more hats appeared.
Yugi then placed a card facedown.
"Okay Siegfried," he said. "It's like a game of four-card monte. My Dark Magician Girl is hiding under one of these Hats… but I've planted a nasty surprise under another one. So make your
move."
Actually, it's nothing like a game of Find the Lady. In that game, NONE of the cards are the one you're looking for – that's the entire point of Find the Lady, it's why it's a scam. Metaphor fail.
"Uh, okay," said Siegfried. "Let's see… darn, I hate this trick…"
"Take as long as you like," said Yugi, tapping his cards against the console. "I've got nowhere to go."
Why is Yugi acting like Seto?
"Oh," said Siegfried, "Blue-Eyes, attack the… no attack the… aw heck, just surprise me!"
It began doing the Chicken Dance.
The Dragon opened its jaws, and fired its lightning at the Hat on the middle-left. It burst in a plume of smoke…
"Did I get her?" said Siegfried.
“I think I got her... I MUST have gotten her!”
"Nope, that one was empty," said Yugi. "Better luck next time."
"Nuts," said Siegfried.
Most people would just say “Damn”, but nobody curses in this story if we're supposed to like
them.
"Your turn."
Yugi looked at his cards. "I believe I'll pass," he said. "You move again."
Now, if Siegfried had any sense of strategy, this would be the obvious tip-off that something is wrong and he would hold his attacks. But in this story, nobody has strategy worth a crap.
"Yugi is just playing with him," said Mary. "And he's playing with fire. If he hits Dark Magician Girl, it will cut his Life Points in half!"
Mary, in Duelist Kingdom rules, that happens all the time.
"Yes, but I think I know what Yugi is plotting," said Clive. "Besides, this duel IS just for fun…"
"Yeah, but I doubt Siegfried will let him live it down if he wins," said Mary.
And Yugi won't let Siegfried live it down if he loses. So?
"Okay," said Siegfried. "Blue-Eyes, attack the left Hat!"
The Dragon shot its attack again, incinerating another Hat; and this time, the lightning was shot back, blasting the Blue-Eyes White Dragon into oblivion!
And so it dies as it lived... drained of its status.
"What?" said Siegfried.
"You hit the trapped hat," said Yugi. "Trapped with my Mirror Force, to be precise. You were lucky that Dragon was the only Monster you had on the field!"
Because losing the symbol of your family's legacy is only meaningful in terms of the damage you would suffer to your Life Points.
Siegfried's Life Points fell to 675.
"Okay, okay," said Siegfried. "I'll play a card facedown, and play the Feral Imp in Defense to finish my move." The green fiend appeared, and crouched down. (1,300/1,400)
Hmm, thought Yugi. I've already destroyed his Mirror Wall… that facedown card is obviously a
bluff.
For once, this assumption ISN'T wrong.
"Dark Magician Girl, emerge!" he commanded. She leapt out of the Hat, which then vanished.
"Now, attack the Feral Imp!" he said. The Dark Magician Girl twirled her baton again, and blasted the Imp to pieces.
Then she did a cheerleading routine and was punished for an illegal dismount.
Then a burst of light appeared on the grid, and an angel-like figure dressed as a nurse emerged.
"What the…?" said Yugi.
"By attacking, you triggered my Numinous Healer Trap," said Siegfried. "Which now restores my Life Points by one-thousand points!"
The angel gestured, and Siegfried's Life Points went up to 1,675. She let out a chanting song, and vanished.
Brian still hasn't actually read that card, I see...
Yugi sighed. "Your move," he said.
"Well, this may not be a Blue-Eyes, but it's a good Dragon nonetheless," said Siegfried. "Here comes Ryu-Ran, in Attack Mode!"
An egg with sinister eyes and clawed feet appeared on the grid. (2,200/2,600)
At least this egg really does have feet.
"And now I'm going to Equip with Dragon Treasure!" said Siegfried. He placed the card down, and piles of gold appeared around Ryu-Ran. Its stats went up to 2,700 over 3,100.
We have discussed this mistake before. In future, we can probably just consider any stat-boosting card Brian's characters use to be misused.
"Now, Ryu-Ran, flaming breath attack!" the upper part of the egg burst open, and a red dragon emerged; it blew a gout of flame that engulfed the Dark Magician Girl! She screamed, and was reduced to ashes.
I think the first half of the sentence is missing here. Unless we're supposed to believe the Ryu-Ran called its own attack.
Yugi's Life Points went down to 1,300.
"It seems I am in the lead," said Siegfried. "Your turn."
"Well, you vanquished my Dark Magician Girl," said Yugi. "And now her mentor is going to be mad!
“You killed the sissy little girl – now watch as the MAN kicks your ass!”
I summon the Dark Magician, in Attack Mode!"
He lay the card down, and the Dark Magician appeared. (2,500/2,100)
...no comment from Siegfried? No discussion of how you're facing your uncle's bane? Nothing?
"And now, I'm going to use the Black Pendant as an Equip!" He put the card down. The pendant with the dark jewel appeared and placed itself around the Dark Magician's neck. His stats went up to 3,000 over 2,100.
The rings and jeweled belt were for show.
"Now, dark magic attack!" The Dark Magician fired his scepter at Ryu-Ran, and blew him into eggshells.
Technically, it only has ONE eggshell – you blew that into pieces.
Siegfried's Life Points went down to 1,375.
"Your move," said Yugi.
Siegfried replied with his middle finger.
Siegfried drew. "Hang onto your hats people," he said. "Here comes Blue-Eyes White Dragon number two!" He put down the card, and again, the ferocious dragon appeared (3,000/2,500)
Wow. So much for the almighty Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Now it's just another monster, worthy of
no comment or fanfare.
There's no passion in this story. That makes it more painful to read than anything.
"But I won't attack your Dark Magician just yet," said Siegfried. "Your move."
He isn't attacking because an attack would destroy both Monsters, thought Yugi. He drew. But I have a surprise for him.
Then he blew the noisemaker.
"I'm going to Equip my Dark Magician further, with the Book of Secret Arts!" he said. He put the card down, and a large book appeared in front of the Dark Magician. His stats went up to
3,300 over 2,400.
Is Brian just trying to screw up in unique ways every time he plays that card or what?
"Oh, crud," said Siegfried.
"Now, dark magic attack again!" yelled Yugi. The Dark Magician blasted the Dragon, and blew it to sparkling gibbets.
Geeze, by Brian's standards that's kind of gory. Isn't it a bit of overkill, Mr. Corvello? Do you just not like Kaiba that much?
Siegfried's Life Points fell to 1,075.
"But I'm not done!" said Yugi. "I'm going to hit you with Hinotama!" He slapped the Spell Card down, and fire erupted on Siegfried's side, bringing his Life Points down to 575.
I still don't get why everyone plays that card.
"Man, Yugi's doing great!" said Mary.
"Yeah," said Clive. "Those Blue-Eyes aren't so tough."
And that's just plain fucking sad.
"Ugh…" said Siegfried, looking at his cards. "I'll play the Ushi Oni in Defense." He put the card down, and a dog-headed horned Fiend in blue armor appeared. (2,150/1,950)
Where's its summoning jar?
"Your move."
He's stalling, thought Yugi.
Uh-oh. It's that section again.
Yugi draws, doesn't get what he needs, and kills Ushi Oni:
Siegfried drew. He gave a sly look. "I'll play a card facedown," he said. "And now, third times the charm. Go, Blue-Eyes White Dragon number three!" He put down the card, and the Monster roared to life, again bearing the numbers 3,000 over 2,500.
Three chances to be impressive and three failures. Hat trick.
"Your move," said Siegfried.
That facedown could be a Trap, thought Yugi, looking at his cards. But even if it is, I'll have something else waiting on the next turn.
"Dark Magician, attack that Dragon!" shouted Yugi.
The Dark Magician started to attack, but then he froze in mid-swing.
Then he wet himself.
"Now I gotcha!" said Siegfried. "With my Spellbinding Circle Trap! It worked so many times for you and your dad Yugi, why not for me?"
The Dark Magician's stats went down to 2,700 over 2,300.
I'll let you do the math and figure out how badly the screw-up was today.
"Is that all for your move?" said Siegfried.
"Yeah, go ahead," said Yugi. "You know you want to…"
“You motherfu-”
"Blue-Eyes, attack the Dark Magician!" commanded Siegfried. The Dragon let loose its thunderous breath, and incinerated the Dark Magician. Yugi's Life Points fell to 775.
At least give us a token reaction shot from the Dark Magician. That's all I ask.
"It's your move," said Siegfried with a chuckle, "but I really don't know what you intend to do. There's not much else that can stand up to my Dragon."
"Well, I always say," said Yugi. "Who is better to stand up to a Blue-Eyes White Dragon, than
another Blue-Eyes White Dragon?"
Then he began to dig out his fursuit.
"Say what?" said Siegfried.
"I'm just going to summon my own," said Yugi, "by using Monster Reborn to retrieve one of the ones I already destroyed!"
He lay down the Monster Reborn card, and the ground on his side of the grid erupted! Another Blue-Eyes crawled out, and the numbers 3,000 over 2,500 appeared on Yugi's side.
The staring contest went on into the night.
"I'm putting it into Attack Mode," said Yugi. "And it's your turn. You can either take out my Dragon with yours, or you can hope to draw something better."
"Fat chance," said Siegfried.
So Kaiba's undefeated nephew never planned for his monsters being turned against him? Bullshit. Yet another sign of how all of the duelists in this story are crap.
"I'm not going to destroy my last Dragon. My move will simply consist of me using this – Mooyan Curry – to heal my Life Points."
He played the healing card, and his Life Points were raised to 775.
I'm starting to suspect even Brian got bored at this point.
"It seems we're tied," said Siegfried.
"Not for long," said Yugi. "You really should have attacked on your turn. For now I'm putting another Monster on the field in Defense Mode… and guess who it is?"
“Go, Deus Ex Machina!”
He placed the card down. In a flash, the Mystical Elf appeared! (800/1,000)
"Oh, nuts, not her…" said Siegfried.
“Brian's version is broken like a Yugo!”
"By that look on your face," said Yugi, "I'm guessing you know that the Mystical Elf's mere presence increases the power of all my Light Monsters by 800; and a Blue-Eyes White Dragon is Light!"
The Dragon's stats went up to 3,800 over 3,300!
“Ie ae yu ye...”
"Now, my Blue-Eyes," said Yugi, "white lightning attack!" The Dragon roared, and shot forth its beam, incinerating Siegfried's Dragon. Siegfried's Life Points fell to zero, and the word "WINNER" appeared on Yugi's side.
One of the most revered and feared monsters in the game just killed its counterpart. It got summed up in one line. This is a terrible story.
"Well," said Yugi. "That was over fast."
Mercifully and sadly at the same time.
"Crap…" said Siegfried, bowing his head.
Brian let someone swear for once... huh.
SCENE CHANGE:
After the station had shut down, Siegfried looked at his deck. "Three of the most powerful Monsters in the game, and you beat them all in less than fifteen minutes…" he said.
A perfect illustration of how ridiculously overpowered Yugi is in this series.
"Be glad you weren't wagering anything," said Mary. "But it looks like you're no longer undefeated!"
"The problem is," said Yugi. "You rely too much on brute force. Someone needs strategy, as well as strength to win any sort of contest. How do you think David defeated Goliath?"
EVERYONE USES BRUTE FORCE IN THIS STORY. Nobody even plays a “mill” deck, for God's sake. And David had God on his side. Which is hilariously apt, actually.
"I may have been defeated," said Siegfried, "but I wasn't playing at my best."
"Huh?" said Mary.
“The author crippled me. Wait until I'm on your side and you'll see.”
"I'll let you in on a little secret I was keeping Yugi," said Siegfried. He held his deck up. "I wasn't playing with a full deck."
Is anybody in this story? Oh, wait, he's being literal.
"Huh?"
"I wanted to go easy on you, so I was only using half of my regular deck." He took from his pocket a stack of cards and added them to the other stack. "It's complete now."
If his deck was forty cards, which is likely if he's supposed to be a good duelist, then he played the duel with an illegal deck. That's not “taking it easy”, that's just plain cheating.
"Make it easier for me?" said Yugi. "Perhaps in one way it did. But with fewer cards in the deck, it also made you twice as likely to draw the Blue-Eyes White Dragon cards."
"I guess so," said Siegfried, putting his deck away. "But you defeated them anyway. I could work on strategy in the future…"
“Or I could do what you do and apply my lips to the author's genitalia.”
"While I appreciate the thought," said Yugi, "I'd rather lose than have an opponent 'go easy' on me, as you say. If we ever duel again, do it with your whole deck."
“It makes my victories marginally more interesting.”
"Count on it," said Siegfried.
He raised his eye before he turned to leave.
"Should we ever duel in a more formal setting Yugi," he said, "you'd best watch out!"
“It won't last just eight pages!”
"What do you think, Yugi?" said Mary.
"We'll be seeing him again," said Yugi. "Definitely.
“He's related to a canon character. That makes him important.”
Perhaps we can count on him as a potential ally against whatever Anne is plotting. Having someone with a deck that packs three Blue-Eyes is no one to trifle with.
In the final story of this series, Yugi gets a Blue-Eyes. That should inform you of how Brian classifies them.
"Of course, any relative of Seto Kaiba isn't someone who can be easily trusted… My dad told me a lot of… unpleasant things about him. If we're to trust him, it's going to take more than words.
“He'll have to be defanged and made into a simpering puppet for good.”
"But right now, I'm exhausted."
So he took Mary into the back room.
SCENE CHANGE:
In her lair, Anastasia was watching; one of her female assistants was watching behind her. Anastasia was definitely NOT in a very good mood after what she saw.
And the half-finished line of cocaine in front of her wasn't helping.
"You've got to give little Yugi credit," said the assistant. "It's not easy crashing through three Blue-Eyes like that."
So does Anastasia intentionally hire idiots to have excuses to banish people to cards, or...?
Anastasia looked up for a minute. With a quick stroke she clubbed the assistant in the stomach with her cane.
"OWW!" yelled the assistant. "What was that for?"
"Nothing, I just felt like hitting someone," said Anastasia.
Well, she did bring it on herself.
Then she sighed. "I'm sorry. Look, Lilith, it's been a long day, why don't you just take off?"
Lilith left the room, clutching her gut.
She considered filing a harassment suit against her employer, but remembered what Anastasia's usual legal response was. It involved magic.
Anastasia went to a liquor cabinet and took out a brandy flask. She filled a glass (more full than she should have), and took a long swig.
WINNERS DON'T DRINK
After refilling, she reached into her pocket and took out a pack of cards and leafed through them. "Not easy indeed," she said. "Well, there are stronger things in the game than that silly Dragon…"
She looked at a card, and a figure dressed in lavender looked back. She put it back in the deck.
"It all depends on the formulas you use…"
I don't know what that is and I don't think I want to know.
The title is “A Short Rest”. True enough, this chapter is only eight pages in Word.
The friends walked down a pathway about an hour, through sparse woodland, keeping their eyes open for the large stump that Jade had mentioned.
They followed the trail of corpses.
"How are we supposed to find one stump around here?" said Peter. "There could be a hundred of them."
You have to admit that if trying to hide something in a forest, hiding it in a tree stump isn't a bad idea.
"It's getting dark," said Clive. "And now's the time when it should be."
"All the more reason to find that place," said Yugi. "Maybe we could get a snack before having
to turn in."
Yugi Motoh Jr: Kindergarten Teacher.
"Yo, people!" said Mary. "Target sighted!"
Bad attempt to sound like your dad out of nowhere, Mary.
They looked to where she was pointing, and saw a VERY large stump, one that seemed to be the remains of a huge tree. Like Jade had said, it had a heart (but no letters) carved on it.
Clive pulled out the Kokiri Bow.
Yugi went up to it and knocked on it. "Hollow," he said. "Look for some sort of catch on or something…"
These people couldn't catch on with a grappling hook.
Mary's eyes fell on a large knothole on one side. "You don't suppose…" she said. She pushed on the knothole and sure enough, it was a button, the top of the stump opened, revealing a ladder down.
Commas aren't that hard to use, Brian...
"C'mon guys," said Yugi. "It doesn't go very far down…"
“Just far enough you'll break your legs on impact!”
They climbed down the ladder, and ended up in a lighted hallway. The walls were painted with mosaics of various Monsters, a dueling station was set up in the center, and several small tables and chairs (one of which was occupied) were set up around the place. A small bakery of sorts was set up at one end, manned by a fat, jovial man in an apron.
The apron was covered in blood, but that was the only detracting quality.
"May I help you guys?" he said with a grin.
Well, might as well see if it works, thought Yugi.
"Yes," said Yugi. "Do you have fresh pumpkin spice muffins for sale?"
Derpy Hooves then kicked him out of the way.
The clerk raised his eyebrow. "Ah, yes indeed…"
He went for his fly.
He pressed a button, and a wall panel next to the counter slid open. In it was a glass display, with five Duel Monster cards placed within.
Well, that's a shit selection!
"The cost is forty Star Coins each," he said.
"Hmmm," thought Yugi, looking at them. "I think we can only afford one right now."
And that's a shit price! This tournament's got all the balance of a low-grade Mortal Kombat knock-off!
"You can have it," said Mary. "I already got a good new one."
He looked at them. Two were terrain-altering cards, the Forest and Sogen Spell Cards. Not much use there. The third was the Tears of the Mermaid Trap Card – interesting, but not essential.
There was one Monster Card, the Giant Soldier of Stone (which he already had).
I wonder if his dismissal of Tears of the Mermaid is some sort of jab at Pegasus.
But the last card was of interest – the Fissure Spell Card.
"Those hags used that card in our match," said Yugi. He turned to the clerk. "It destroys the opposing Monster with the lowest Attack Score, right?"
"That's right," said the clerk.
This may be the first time Brian's actually gotten a card right. And that's only because EVERYONE had this card back then; it was in all the starter decks.
"Okay, I'll take that one," said Yugi. "We'll also have a dozen assorted muffins, and this should cover it." He showed the Card of Plenty to him.
"Geeze," said the clerk, as Yugi counted out forty coins. "Who'd you have to kill to get that?"
"Long story," said Yugi.
“Short version, EVERYONE.”
As the clerk gave him the card, followed by the muffins, the occupant of the table (who had been watching him the whole time) came up to them. He was a sixteen-year-old teenager, dressed in a blue coat. He had long brown hair, tied back in a long ponytail. As Yugi turned towards him, he noticed that he wore a lapel pin made of silver, shaped like a dragon with tiny sapphires for eyes. He wore a wristband with five Duel Jewels in it.
Three guesses which canon character he's related to.
"Hello Yugi," he said.
“Is it me you're looking for?”
"Do I know you?" asked Yugi.
"Yes, we've just not had the opportunity to actually meet yet," said the youth.
“I drive by your house at night.”
"Pardon?"
Yugi is slow on the uptake yet again.
"I'll give you a hint," said the youth. He took out a pack of cards and looked through it until he found a particular card. "Does this card look familiar?"
The card bore the image of a silver, glowing, winged dragon.
I haven't watched the show in years, but I don't recall the BEWD being foil.
"The Blue-Eyes White Dragon!" exclaimed Mary.
Yugi was stunned. "There are only three of those cards in the world, last time I checked," he said. "And all of them belong to my father's old rival Seto Kaiba…"
"Yes," said the youth, putting them back. "And they're mine now. He gave them to me after he quit Duel Monsters. Seto is my uncle. My name is Siegfried Kaiba."
Nope. Not buying it. Mokuba Kaiba would not give his son a German first name. This is even stupider now that we have the KC Grand Prix, with the knowledge that Seto's alleged nephew shares a name with a major business rival of Kaibacorp!
"Really?" said Yugi. His features turned to a slight smile. "So how's old Seto doing now?"
"Retired to an island in the Caribbean," said Siegfried. "One of those places where the weather is nice, the food is great, and the hassles are nonexistent."
He's lying, but we won't find out for a couple stories yet. Not that it's a surprise, since Seto Kaiba is one of those people who wouldn't retire unless you shot him.
"So, I assume Anastasia invited you here," said Yugi. "I have to wonder why you accepted. Her father caused your uncle a world of trouble."
"Actually," said Siegfried, "my uncle practically insisted that I accept her invitation. He wanted me to find out if she was up to something."
I can accept Seto Kaiba being suspicious of Anastasia far more easily than I can Yugi Sr. being such. Seto Kaiba never forgives.
He paused. "I was about to ask you the same thing… and word is spreading fast around the Labyrinth about the great Yugi Muto's son. I'm glad we had a chance to meet."
"Funny," said Yugi, "the main reason I'm here is to keep an eye on Anne too."
“Are you as needlessly paranoid as I am?”
The two of them looked at each other for a long time, as if they were reading each other's
thoughts.
Mary broke the tension by shouting, “KISS ALREADY!”
"Why don't you just say it," said Yugi. "I know you want to…"
“I have a condom in my wallet!”
Siegfried held up his deck. "How about it Yugi?" he said. "You and me… for old time's sake. We don't even have to wager anything."
"Really?" said Yugi. "How can I say no?"
Like this: “Iie.”
SCENE CHANGE:
"I dunno," said Clive, as Yugi and Siegfried took their positions at the dueling station. "Why do I feel that what they really want to do is prove who is better?"
Because that's usually the point of duels?
"Well," said Mary, "if this guy is any bit as good as his uncle – and is using the same deck – he may have the potential to beat Yugi."
"How so?" said Peter.
Fanfic authors who masturbate to Yugi tend to give Kaiba the only credit non-Yugi duelists ever receive.
"If I recall correctly," said Mary. "The Blue-Eyes White Dragon is one of the most powerful Monsters in the game, with an Attack of 3,000 and a Defense of 2,500. That deck of his has THREE of them in it. And if he can get all three of them on the board at one time, he can transform them into the Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon, which is the game's single strongest Monster. It's practically indestructible.
Nice praise, but as we'll see, just because a card is canonically good doesn't mean it gets any special attention.
"And there's no telling just what this guy has added to his deck – it might be even more
formidable than Seto's original one. He does have five Jewels there…"
"Well, we'll see in a minute," said Clive. "Can Yugi's Shield of St. George Trap destroy a Blue-Eyes Ultimate?"
"I don't see why not," said Mary. "But first he'd have to draw it…"
Part of the reason all these “magic bullet” cards are so damn silly.
"Make sure that deck is well–shuffled," said Yugi. He waved his hand over his Puzzle, and again the change overtook him.
"I'm shuffling," said Siegfried.
Cue the Discord Dance.
He looked at Yugi. "Huh. My uncle told me about how your dad could do that. Just how does it feel, anyway?"
“And why are your pants bulging?”
"Hard to explain," said Yugi. "It's something you have to experience."
The station flashed to life, and the numbers 2,000 appeared on each side. They each drew.
"I must warn you Yugi," said Siegfried. "I have a perfect record at this game."
"So do I," said Yugi. "So it seems one of our records is going to be flawed, right now…"
SPOILER: Brian refuses to let Yugi lose at any point in this series. Sorry to burst your bubbles.
"DUEL!" they both said.
The echo effect temporarily deafened everyone present.
"Guess I'll go first," said Yugi. "I play the Dark Magician Girl, in Attack Mode!" He put down the card, and the young sorceress appeared. (2,000/1,700)
"And I'll lay a card facedown too," said Yugi, "which will end my move."
"I'll lay a card facedown too," said Siegfried, "and then I'll play the Red Archery Girl, also in Attack Mode." He put down the cards, and the mermaid in her shell appeared, brandishing her bow. (1,400/1,500)
"Looks like we have a catfight on out hands," said Siegfried. "Your move."
Someone get out the baby oil.
"I don't know if you're bluffing or not," said Yugi. "But I'm not taking any chances. I'm playing the Harpie's Feather Duster!" He put the Spell Card down, it swept across the grid, and the light around Siegfried's facedown card went out.
A repairman climbed out of the duel platform and waved sheepishly.
"My Mirror Wall!" said Siegfried. He looked at Yugi. "Aw crud…"
"Thought so," said Yugi. "Dark Magician Girl, turn that mermaid into fish sticks!"
Mrs. Paul's secret exposed!
The Dark Magician Girl twirled her baton and fired! The Red Archery Girl screamed and was vaporized. Siegfried's Life Points fell to 1,400.
Peter started crying.
"Your move," said Yugi.
Then he thought. He had a Mirror Wall Trap? That's a powerful card. If I hadn't drawn that Feather Duster, it might have been all over.
EVERYONE has that card in this story! Stop acting like it's impressive!
Siegfried drew. "Aha!" he said. "Peter, you might want to get a picture of this! Here comes Blue-Eyes White Dragon number one! In Attack Mode."
He put down the card, and the ferocious silver-white dragon appeared! (3,000/2,500)
The Blue-Eyes White Dragon is second only to the God Cards in terms of reverence in the anime. Its summoning is treated with much fanfare whenever it comes out, and it is considered one of the most powerful creatures in the game. Even now, it remains one of the most powerful normal monsters in the real game.
And this is how Brian treats it. With a single line. No build-up, no fanfare, no indication that this is anything but another piece of grist for the mill, another target to be set up and knocked down.
In terms of treatment of its canon alone, this is a terrible, terrible story.
"So that's what it looks like," said Clive. "I have to say, I'm impressed."
I'm not. And that is seriously wrong.
"Now, Blue-Eyes, white lightning attack!" commanded Siegfried. The Monster shot forth its lightning breath, the Dark Magician Girl covered her eyes…
But the bolt stopped a foot from her!
"Good thing I had a Negate Attack in place," said Yugi, holding up his facedown.
This is a twenty-eight-chapter story and I'm already sick of this.
"Well, your next move best be something big," said Siegfried. "Make your move."
Yugi jumped across the field and kicked him in the throat.
Yugi drew and looked at his cards. Hmm, he thought. Dad told me about the time he dueled with the spirit of Seto's evil side… maybe that trick he told me about in that duel will help destroy
this thing.
So he began shouting insults.
"I play Magical Hats!" said Yugi. "Protect and conceal the Dark Magician Girl!" He placed down the card, and a hat covered the Dark Magician Girl. It turned into a blur, and three more hats appeared.
Yugi then placed a card facedown.
"Okay Siegfried," he said. "It's like a game of four-card monte. My Dark Magician Girl is hiding under one of these Hats… but I've planted a nasty surprise under another one. So make your
move."
Actually, it's nothing like a game of Find the Lady. In that game, NONE of the cards are the one you're looking for – that's the entire point of Find the Lady, it's why it's a scam. Metaphor fail.
"Uh, okay," said Siegfried. "Let's see… darn, I hate this trick…"
"Take as long as you like," said Yugi, tapping his cards against the console. "I've got nowhere to go."
Why is Yugi acting like Seto?
"Oh," said Siegfried, "Blue-Eyes, attack the… no attack the… aw heck, just surprise me!"
It began doing the Chicken Dance.
The Dragon opened its jaws, and fired its lightning at the Hat on the middle-left. It burst in a plume of smoke…
"Did I get her?" said Siegfried.
“I think I got her... I MUST have gotten her!”
"Nope, that one was empty," said Yugi. "Better luck next time."
"Nuts," said Siegfried.
Most people would just say “Damn”, but nobody curses in this story if we're supposed to like
them.
"Your turn."
Yugi looked at his cards. "I believe I'll pass," he said. "You move again."
Now, if Siegfried had any sense of strategy, this would be the obvious tip-off that something is wrong and he would hold his attacks. But in this story, nobody has strategy worth a crap.
"Yugi is just playing with him," said Mary. "And he's playing with fire. If he hits Dark Magician Girl, it will cut his Life Points in half!"
Mary, in Duelist Kingdom rules, that happens all the time.
"Yes, but I think I know what Yugi is plotting," said Clive. "Besides, this duel IS just for fun…"
"Yeah, but I doubt Siegfried will let him live it down if he wins," said Mary.
And Yugi won't let Siegfried live it down if he loses. So?
"Okay," said Siegfried. "Blue-Eyes, attack the left Hat!"
The Dragon shot its attack again, incinerating another Hat; and this time, the lightning was shot back, blasting the Blue-Eyes White Dragon into oblivion!
And so it dies as it lived... drained of its status.
"What?" said Siegfried.
"You hit the trapped hat," said Yugi. "Trapped with my Mirror Force, to be precise. You were lucky that Dragon was the only Monster you had on the field!"
Because losing the symbol of your family's legacy is only meaningful in terms of the damage you would suffer to your Life Points.
Siegfried's Life Points fell to 675.
"Okay, okay," said Siegfried. "I'll play a card facedown, and play the Feral Imp in Defense to finish my move." The green fiend appeared, and crouched down. (1,300/1,400)
Hmm, thought Yugi. I've already destroyed his Mirror Wall… that facedown card is obviously a
bluff.
For once, this assumption ISN'T wrong.
"Dark Magician Girl, emerge!" he commanded. She leapt out of the Hat, which then vanished.
"Now, attack the Feral Imp!" he said. The Dark Magician Girl twirled her baton again, and blasted the Imp to pieces.
Then she did a cheerleading routine and was punished for an illegal dismount.
Then a burst of light appeared on the grid, and an angel-like figure dressed as a nurse emerged.
"What the…?" said Yugi.
"By attacking, you triggered my Numinous Healer Trap," said Siegfried. "Which now restores my Life Points by one-thousand points!"
The angel gestured, and Siegfried's Life Points went up to 1,675. She let out a chanting song, and vanished.
Brian still hasn't actually read that card, I see...
Yugi sighed. "Your move," he said.
"Well, this may not be a Blue-Eyes, but it's a good Dragon nonetheless," said Siegfried. "Here comes Ryu-Ran, in Attack Mode!"
An egg with sinister eyes and clawed feet appeared on the grid. (2,200/2,600)
At least this egg really does have feet.
"And now I'm going to Equip with Dragon Treasure!" said Siegfried. He placed the card down, and piles of gold appeared around Ryu-Ran. Its stats went up to 2,700 over 3,100.
We have discussed this mistake before. In future, we can probably just consider any stat-boosting card Brian's characters use to be misused.
"Now, Ryu-Ran, flaming breath attack!" the upper part of the egg burst open, and a red dragon emerged; it blew a gout of flame that engulfed the Dark Magician Girl! She screamed, and was reduced to ashes.
I think the first half of the sentence is missing here. Unless we're supposed to believe the Ryu-Ran called its own attack.
Yugi's Life Points went down to 1,300.
"It seems I am in the lead," said Siegfried. "Your turn."
"Well, you vanquished my Dark Magician Girl," said Yugi. "And now her mentor is going to be mad!
“You killed the sissy little girl – now watch as the MAN kicks your ass!”
I summon the Dark Magician, in Attack Mode!"
He lay the card down, and the Dark Magician appeared. (2,500/2,100)
...no comment from Siegfried? No discussion of how you're facing your uncle's bane? Nothing?
"And now, I'm going to use the Black Pendant as an Equip!" He put the card down. The pendant with the dark jewel appeared and placed itself around the Dark Magician's neck. His stats went up to 3,000 over 2,100.
The rings and jeweled belt were for show.
"Now, dark magic attack!" The Dark Magician fired his scepter at Ryu-Ran, and blew him into eggshells.
Technically, it only has ONE eggshell – you blew that into pieces.
Siegfried's Life Points went down to 1,375.
"Your move," said Yugi.
Siegfried replied with his middle finger.
Siegfried drew. "Hang onto your hats people," he said. "Here comes Blue-Eyes White Dragon number two!" He put down the card, and again, the ferocious dragon appeared (3,000/2,500)
Wow. So much for the almighty Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Now it's just another monster, worthy of
no comment or fanfare.
There's no passion in this story. That makes it more painful to read than anything.
"But I won't attack your Dark Magician just yet," said Siegfried. "Your move."
He isn't attacking because an attack would destroy both Monsters, thought Yugi. He drew. But I have a surprise for him.
Then he blew the noisemaker.
"I'm going to Equip my Dark Magician further, with the Book of Secret Arts!" he said. He put the card down, and a large book appeared in front of the Dark Magician. His stats went up to
3,300 over 2,400.
Is Brian just trying to screw up in unique ways every time he plays that card or what?
"Oh, crud," said Siegfried.
"Now, dark magic attack again!" yelled Yugi. The Dark Magician blasted the Dragon, and blew it to sparkling gibbets.
Geeze, by Brian's standards that's kind of gory. Isn't it a bit of overkill, Mr. Corvello? Do you just not like Kaiba that much?
Siegfried's Life Points fell to 1,075.
"But I'm not done!" said Yugi. "I'm going to hit you with Hinotama!" He slapped the Spell Card down, and fire erupted on Siegfried's side, bringing his Life Points down to 575.
I still don't get why everyone plays that card.
"Man, Yugi's doing great!" said Mary.
"Yeah," said Clive. "Those Blue-Eyes aren't so tough."
And that's just plain fucking sad.
"Ugh…" said Siegfried, looking at his cards. "I'll play the Ushi Oni in Defense." He put the card down, and a dog-headed horned Fiend in blue armor appeared. (2,150/1,950)
Where's its summoning jar?
"Your move."
He's stalling, thought Yugi.
Uh-oh. It's that section again.
Yugi draws, doesn't get what he needs, and kills Ushi Oni:
Siegfried drew. He gave a sly look. "I'll play a card facedown," he said. "And now, third times the charm. Go, Blue-Eyes White Dragon number three!" He put down the card, and the Monster roared to life, again bearing the numbers 3,000 over 2,500.
Three chances to be impressive and three failures. Hat trick.
"Your move," said Siegfried.
That facedown could be a Trap, thought Yugi, looking at his cards. But even if it is, I'll have something else waiting on the next turn.
"Dark Magician, attack that Dragon!" shouted Yugi.
The Dark Magician started to attack, but then he froze in mid-swing.
Then he wet himself.
"Now I gotcha!" said Siegfried. "With my Spellbinding Circle Trap! It worked so many times for you and your dad Yugi, why not for me?"
The Dark Magician's stats went down to 2,700 over 2,300.
I'll let you do the math and figure out how badly the screw-up was today.
"Is that all for your move?" said Siegfried.
"Yeah, go ahead," said Yugi. "You know you want to…"
“You motherfu-”
"Blue-Eyes, attack the Dark Magician!" commanded Siegfried. The Dragon let loose its thunderous breath, and incinerated the Dark Magician. Yugi's Life Points fell to 775.
At least give us a token reaction shot from the Dark Magician. That's all I ask.
"It's your move," said Siegfried with a chuckle, "but I really don't know what you intend to do. There's not much else that can stand up to my Dragon."
"Well, I always say," said Yugi. "Who is better to stand up to a Blue-Eyes White Dragon, than
another Blue-Eyes White Dragon?"
Then he began to dig out his fursuit.
"Say what?" said Siegfried.
"I'm just going to summon my own," said Yugi, "by using Monster Reborn to retrieve one of the ones I already destroyed!"
He lay down the Monster Reborn card, and the ground on his side of the grid erupted! Another Blue-Eyes crawled out, and the numbers 3,000 over 2,500 appeared on Yugi's side.
The staring contest went on into the night.
"I'm putting it into Attack Mode," said Yugi. "And it's your turn. You can either take out my Dragon with yours, or you can hope to draw something better."
"Fat chance," said Siegfried.
So Kaiba's undefeated nephew never planned for his monsters being turned against him? Bullshit. Yet another sign of how all of the duelists in this story are crap.
"I'm not going to destroy my last Dragon. My move will simply consist of me using this – Mooyan Curry – to heal my Life Points."
He played the healing card, and his Life Points were raised to 775.
I'm starting to suspect even Brian got bored at this point.
"It seems we're tied," said Siegfried.
"Not for long," said Yugi. "You really should have attacked on your turn. For now I'm putting another Monster on the field in Defense Mode… and guess who it is?"
“Go, Deus Ex Machina!”
He placed the card down. In a flash, the Mystical Elf appeared! (800/1,000)
"Oh, nuts, not her…" said Siegfried.
“Brian's version is broken like a Yugo!”
"By that look on your face," said Yugi, "I'm guessing you know that the Mystical Elf's mere presence increases the power of all my Light Monsters by 800; and a Blue-Eyes White Dragon is Light!"
The Dragon's stats went up to 3,800 over 3,300!
“Ie ae yu ye...”
"Now, my Blue-Eyes," said Yugi, "white lightning attack!" The Dragon roared, and shot forth its beam, incinerating Siegfried's Dragon. Siegfried's Life Points fell to zero, and the word "WINNER" appeared on Yugi's side.
One of the most revered and feared monsters in the game just killed its counterpart. It got summed up in one line. This is a terrible story.
"Well," said Yugi. "That was over fast."
Mercifully and sadly at the same time.
"Crap…" said Siegfried, bowing his head.
Brian let someone swear for once... huh.
SCENE CHANGE:
After the station had shut down, Siegfried looked at his deck. "Three of the most powerful Monsters in the game, and you beat them all in less than fifteen minutes…" he said.
A perfect illustration of how ridiculously overpowered Yugi is in this series.
"Be glad you weren't wagering anything," said Mary. "But it looks like you're no longer undefeated!"
"The problem is," said Yugi. "You rely too much on brute force. Someone needs strategy, as well as strength to win any sort of contest. How do you think David defeated Goliath?"
EVERYONE USES BRUTE FORCE IN THIS STORY. Nobody even plays a “mill” deck, for God's sake. And David had God on his side. Which is hilariously apt, actually.
"I may have been defeated," said Siegfried, "but I wasn't playing at my best."
"Huh?" said Mary.
“The author crippled me. Wait until I'm on your side and you'll see.”
"I'll let you in on a little secret I was keeping Yugi," said Siegfried. He held his deck up. "I wasn't playing with a full deck."
Is anybody in this story? Oh, wait, he's being literal.
"Huh?"
"I wanted to go easy on you, so I was only using half of my regular deck." He took from his pocket a stack of cards and added them to the other stack. "It's complete now."
If his deck was forty cards, which is likely if he's supposed to be a good duelist, then he played the duel with an illegal deck. That's not “taking it easy”, that's just plain cheating.
"Make it easier for me?" said Yugi. "Perhaps in one way it did. But with fewer cards in the deck, it also made you twice as likely to draw the Blue-Eyes White Dragon cards."
"I guess so," said Siegfried, putting his deck away. "But you defeated them anyway. I could work on strategy in the future…"
“Or I could do what you do and apply my lips to the author's genitalia.”
"While I appreciate the thought," said Yugi, "I'd rather lose than have an opponent 'go easy' on me, as you say. If we ever duel again, do it with your whole deck."
“It makes my victories marginally more interesting.”
"Count on it," said Siegfried.
He raised his eye before he turned to leave.
"Should we ever duel in a more formal setting Yugi," he said, "you'd best watch out!"
“It won't last just eight pages!”
"What do you think, Yugi?" said Mary.
"We'll be seeing him again," said Yugi. "Definitely.
“He's related to a canon character. That makes him important.”
Perhaps we can count on him as a potential ally against whatever Anne is plotting. Having someone with a deck that packs three Blue-Eyes is no one to trifle with.
In the final story of this series, Yugi gets a Blue-Eyes. That should inform you of how Brian classifies them.
"Of course, any relative of Seto Kaiba isn't someone who can be easily trusted… My dad told me a lot of… unpleasant things about him. If we're to trust him, it's going to take more than words.
“He'll have to be defanged and made into a simpering puppet for good.”
"But right now, I'm exhausted."
So he took Mary into the back room.
SCENE CHANGE:
In her lair, Anastasia was watching; one of her female assistants was watching behind her. Anastasia was definitely NOT in a very good mood after what she saw.
And the half-finished line of cocaine in front of her wasn't helping.
"You've got to give little Yugi credit," said the assistant. "It's not easy crashing through three Blue-Eyes like that."
So does Anastasia intentionally hire idiots to have excuses to banish people to cards, or...?
Anastasia looked up for a minute. With a quick stroke she clubbed the assistant in the stomach with her cane.
"OWW!" yelled the assistant. "What was that for?"
"Nothing, I just felt like hitting someone," said Anastasia.
Well, she did bring it on herself.
Then she sighed. "I'm sorry. Look, Lilith, it's been a long day, why don't you just take off?"
Lilith left the room, clutching her gut.
She considered filing a harassment suit against her employer, but remembered what Anastasia's usual legal response was. It involved magic.
Anastasia went to a liquor cabinet and took out a brandy flask. She filled a glass (more full than she should have), and took a long swig.
WINNERS DON'T DRINK
After refilling, she reached into her pocket and took out a pack of cards and leafed through them. "Not easy indeed," she said. "Well, there are stronger things in the game than that silly Dragon…"
She looked at a card, and a figure dressed in lavender looked back. She put it back in the deck.
"It all depends on the formulas you use…"
I don't know what that is and I don't think I want to know.
