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Bronydom Fanfic Reviews: Fluttersertive
Dec. 15th, 2011 10:20 pmToday's subject: Fluttersertive
Author: Pen Palomino
Genre: Comedy
Short summary: Fluttershy decides to really work at the whole "becoming more assertive" business. Pity she goes overboard on it.
Review: This is a short one-shot, since I'm just getting started with the review business. Want my opinion? I like it.
Too often fanfic writers fall into the trap of thinking that if their stories aren't multiple chapters, they're doing something wrong. I'm very appreciative when I find a story that works well and keeps itself short. This is one of them.
The bulk of the story is Fluttershy by herself, which is to be expected given the plot. Fluttershy can be either the easiest of the Mane Six to write or the hardest, depending on what she's called upon to do - many writers forget that she can turn aggressive if her friends are threatened. In this story, that isn't an issue, so characterization follows a simple path, which Pen Palomino does well. (That she spends most of the story interacting with an extended Saturday Night Live reference helps.)
The author has a worthwhile grasp on spelling and grammar, making the story easy to read. It flows smoothly between scenes and manages to work in all of the Mane Six without them feeling tacked on, and even finds room to insert Derpy (under the name Ditzy Doo).
There is one weak spot in the story, though: the third act is a bit too short, leaving the effects of Fluttershy's assertiveness a bit flat. While it manages to get the "echo" effect the author was presumably going for, it isn't perfect, and could have used an extra scene or two.
All in all, though, this is a well-written one-shot, well worth the brief investment of time it requires. I recommend it.
