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mancalledtrue ([personal profile] mancalledtrue) wrote2012-10-29 09:02 pm
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Things I Fear: Twenty-Ninth

There are few fears left.



#29: MENTAL REGRESSION

Some fears I dread even thinking about.  This is one of them.

My mind is my greatest strength.  To lose that - to be reduced to mere childhood, or worse, infancy - is one of the greatest fears I have.  It's so powerful that I'm afraid even thinking about it for too long could contribute to it.

So of course it's at the center of most of my obsessions and compulsions.  The rituals my OCD demands I perform are to ward off this phantom, to safeguard my intellect.

And even though the medication has helped, I still dance on the strings, just in case.